I Drive Myself Crazy
by TheNarcoticofSerendipity
Summary: A Songfic based off the songs "Thinking of you Drive Myself Crazy " by Nsync, "Break Your Heart" by The Barenaked Ladies and "Happy Ending" by Avril Lavigne  What if Holly realized her mistake, what if she came back? what would Will do?


Drive Myself Crazy

Holly laid alone in her bed, she had given up on sleep long ago. Her mind was racing as she stared at the off-white ceiling. She looked over at the clock that was barely lighting the dark room.

"5 AM . . . Really?" she hissed in displeasure, deciding that sleep was impossible. She tossed the blankets aside and gets up. She went to the kitchen, pouring some coffee. She grips the warm cup in her hands as she walks to the living room, sitting on the couch. She takes a sip of her drink than sets it down, pulling out a photo album. Holly opens it and flips through the pages until a photo caught her eye. She looked down at the photo of herself and Will Schuester after their "Singing in the Rain." A tear falls.

"Why did I ever let you go?" she cries more as she stares, his features captivating her. The curly hair, boyish grin and his cute Kirk Douglas chin dimple. God he was cute and he cared for her so much, he loved her and she was pretty sure that she loved him too but that thought scared her, love? She had never been in love before, she's Holly Holliday, she moves fast, love 'em and leave 'em, get out before she gets hurt but there was something about him that was different. She regretted how she just left, how she ran away from him, from real happiness. She puts the album up.

"I need to see him" she concludes "it's the only way." She gets up and takes a quick shower, dead set on confronting Will at McKinley.

After her lightning fast shower she gets dressed in a white collared shirt, black skirt that hugged her curves and a pair of bright red heels. She does her makeup and grabs her bag, leaving the small apartment.

She spent the 2 hour drive in silence, thinking of Will and nothing else, she was nervous, she feared that it was too late, that he took her advice and was with Emma now and they were happier than ever.

She arrived at 7:30, she walked into the school with purpose, she could feel the kids looking at her, she walks right into the choir room where the kids were having their early morning rehearsal.

"Holaclase!" she says in true Holly fashion, all the kids were happy to see her, Will didn't look as happy. "What are you kids working on?"

"We were about to perform our songs for the week"

"Whats the assignment"

"A song that reflects our true feelings" Finn says

"Hey, mind if I start it off?" she asks, the kids look at Will

"I . . . I suppose that's okay" he nods

Holly whispers the song to the band and looks at Will as the music started.

_Lying in your arms  
>So close together<br>Didn't know just what I had  
>Now I toss and turn<br>Cause I'm without you  
>How I'm missing you so bad<em>

_Where was my head  
>Where was my heart<br>Now I cry alone in the dark_

_I lie awake  
>I drive myself crazy<br>Drive myself crazy  
>Thinking of you<br>Made a mistake  
>When I let you go baby<br>I drive myself crazy  
>Wanting you the way that I do<br>(Wanting you the way that I do)_

_I was such a fool  
>I couldn't see it<br>Just how good you were to me  
>You confessed your love<br>Undying devotion  
>I confessed my need to be free<em>

_And now I'm left  
>With all this pain<br>I've only got myself to blame  
><em> 

_I lie awake  
>I drive myself crazy<br>Drive myself crazy  
>Thinking of you<br>Made a mistake  
>When I let you go baby<br>I drive myself crazy  
>Wanting you the way that I do<br>(Wanting you the way that I do)_

_Why didn't I know it  
>(How much I loved you baby)<br>Why couldn't I show it  
>(If I had only told you)<br>When I had the chance  
>Oh I had the chance<em>

_I lie awake  
>I drive myself crazy<br>Drive myself crazy  
>Thinking of you<br>Made a mistake  
>When I let you go baby<br>I drive myself crazy  
>Wanting you the way that I do<br>(Wanting you the way that I do)_

The song ends, tears in her eyes, he eyes never left Will, everyone knew that she was singing right to him. He looks at everyone than shakes his head and storms out of the room. Holly looks at the kids than runs after him.

"Will!" she says

The glee kids look at each other. Confused and shocked by what happened.

"Wow" Finn says

"Did you see Mr. Schuester's face?

"Yeah he looked. . . Embarrassed" Tina says

"Well yeah he was completely blind-sided" Kurt says

Holly looks around the whole school, calling Will's name. She finally finds him in the weight room beating up on a read punching bag.

"Will" she says, he ignores her "Will please talk to me"

"Why did you come here?"

"To see if you were okay, you left the choir room so fast"

"Not here" he motions to the room and looks at her "To Lima"

"I- I don't know, I wanted to see you" She stutters

"I finally got over you, I am finally happy and then you come back" she hits the bag again

"Will I'm sorr-"she starts

"I'm with Emma now" he cuts her off

"That's gr-"

"I'm going to propose on Christmas Eve" he says, cutting her off again

"I'm happy for you, I really am"

"Then why are you doing this to me, why did you suddenly change your mind?"

"I missed you; I realized that I was wrong and that you are the best thing that ever happened to me"

"You should have realized that earlier, before you decided to break my heart." He starts to walk away. She grabs his arm.

"Will please stop"

"No I'm not dealing with this, I've moved on. You should too" he leaves

Holly sits there for a moment and cries than wipes her eyes and walks out. The glee kids see her and run over, eager to see what happened between her and Will.

"Ms. Holliday, what happened? What did he say?" Rachel asks

She looks up, eyes red and puffy from crying "He said that he was finally happy and that he didn't want to deal with me"

"Wow, Schuester is an asshole" Santana says

"So he didn't care at all?" Finn says

"He pretty much said that he didn't want me to ruin what he has with Emma and that didn't want me here" Holly says, the kids were quiet, Quinn breaks the silence.

"I dont blame him" She says, they all look at her

"Me either" Puck says "you did kind of spring this on him unexpectedly"

"Come to glee tomorrow" the kids say

The next day she shows up, Will rolls his eyes when she sees her.

"Okay guys I have a song to sing." Will says, they all sit down

_The bravest thing I've ever done  
>Was to run away and hide<br>But not this time, not this time  
>And the weakest thing I've ever done<br>Was to stay right by your side  
>Just like this time, and every time<br>I couldn't tell you I was happy when you were gone  
>So I lied and said that I missed you when we were apart<br>I couldn't tell you, so I had to lead you on  
>But I didn't mean to break your heart<em>

_And if I always seem distracted  
>Like my minds somewhere else<br>That's because it's true, yes it's true  
>it's this stupid pride that makes me feel<br>Like I have to follow through  
>Even half-assedly, loving you<br>Why must I always speak in terms of cowardice?  
>When I guess I should have just come out and told you right from the start<br>Why must I always tell you all I want is this?  
>I guess 'cause I didn't want to break your heart<em>

_And you said  
>What'd you think that I was gonna do,<br>Curl up and die just because of you?  
>I'm not that weak, you know<br>What'd you think that I was gonna do,  
>Try to make you love me as much as I love you?<br>How could you be so low?  
>You arrogant man,<br>What do you think that I am?  
>My heart will be fine<br>Just stop wasting my time_

_And now I'm over you, I'll be OK,  
>and that I've got what I want,<br>and that's rid of you  
>Bye<br>And it's not 'cause I'll be missing you  
>That makes me fall apart<br>It's just that I didn't mean to break  
>No I didn't mean to break<br>No I didn't mean to break  
>Your heart<em>

As Will finishes the song she stands up and leaves crying. The kids look at him and shake their heads.

"Why?" Quinn asks

"What? I don't have the right to express my feelings on the subject?"

They go on with rehearsal and than leave for the night. Holly walks up to Will as he and Emma were leaving.

"I just wanted to say goodbye . . . even though you don't want me here" she says

"Holly it's not that I don't want you here"

"It's fine" she says than hugs him and leaves

_All this time you were pretending_

_So much for my happy ending_


End file.
